Saturday, October 30, 2010

Only you


This is my prayer, this is my heart. I'm fighting against my own selfishness and I hate to say that lately it's been winning, but I want it to stop. Lord, you say that you have sent your Holy Spirit, which is even more helpful that if Jesus was here in the physical form-that is quite a promise. And I believe in it, I'm holding onto it with everything I've got.
Break me down if that's what it takes to tear out this selfishness. Give me that faith to take action on these words and more importantly, on your words. Give me ears to listen and a heart that is turned only to you.

I want to want your will in my life. Please help me to really seek it out. And I mean really, truly-I say help me, because I am so weak against my own fleshly wants.

I just want you to take over my thoughts, God you have my mind. Please, everything I do-that it be for You.

Your will, no matter what it is, You are all that matters.

So I ask that my heart would line up with these words and just want what you designed for me.

I want to seek out your will with every bit of life I have in me. I want to search for you and trust you and just let my life be a testimony to you. God, even when others can't see it-let it still bring glory to you.

You say the angels marvel at us, use my life for your glory! I don't want it for my own, but God take it for yours. I'm willing to give up anything, I'm ready to do anything. So take it. Give me the strength, life and love to follow. I have faith in you that you will make it possible for me to do all that you ask, because I already know that I'm nothing without you. God, I couldn't keep myself alive for 2 seconds alone-let alone live my life according to your plan. It's you that makes everything possible.

It's you that gave me freedom. It's you that gives me hope.

Don't let these just be empty words.

God, I just want you now. I hate fighting against my stupid selfishness that drags me down far from you.

I want to see you, I want to know that I don't have to struggle anymore, that I can just be home.
That the fight is over and now I'm truly home. Forever.

I want it so much, God, everything I am is yours. Everything, I give it all to you.

Whatever you want me to do, to be. Just take me, God, use me however you want and then give me the strength to follow.
I know you will though, and so I'll end with saying thank you. Thank you for this life, thank you for giving me hope. Thank you that I have something so beautiful to live for.

Monday, October 18, 2010


It's been quite a while since I last wrote.
I'm not sure if I should blame business, laziness, or some combination of the two.

Anyways, I'm writing now and that's what matters.

I was in church last night and they played a video talking about how our former Pastor, Francis Chan is moving his family over to asia to serve God. It's pretty incredible, they are just selling their house and totally going out in faith. It sounds so amazing and exciting and while watching him speak you get swept along in their adventure, but then the screen turns back, the lights turn on and we realize we're still in little simi valley and that is not going to change.

So what do we do now?

Go buy plane tickets to asia too?

As human beings, we are filled with a strong long for adventure, it drives us. If we don't have it we become useless, angry, people.

Just take a look at your typical office worker-sitting at a desk typing all day, everyday, 9 to 5 kind of people.

Then look at someone with an exciting bold life filled with purpose-Francis Chan is a great example-he is thriving off of it.

And through this adventure-he is brought closer to God than ever, he has to totally depend on Him and sees how much he really needs God.

Lets be honest, how much do we really need God?

Is your fridge full? Your house warm? Your job going well? You have or are getting an education?

Do you need to rely on Him for basic survival? Probably not. And while this looks like a good thing-after all the american dream is something we greatly prize, it's more of a curse than anything.

It keeps you far from God, because you don't need Him. Instead of relying on Him for everything, you have to force yourself to find time to remember Him.

I heard a story about a team of missionaries who were captured for preaching about God and they had one Bible amoungst them all, so they tore it apart and each person got a section so they could stay in the word. This was the most important thing to them!

Where is your Bible? How often do you read it? If you're anything like me, not nearly enough.

So how do we find this adventure, how do we need God?

It's really quite simple actually. But something we wouldn't see right away usually. Because we are so caught up thinking about ourselves, we forget to see this great creator that we call our own.

We forget who He is.
We look out in our world and only see it for what is gives us, we forget that He created each star in the sky. He made the Heavens and the earth, He gives us breath, He is life itself.

We forget that He is the adventure, we forget that we are a part of His story, that just the fact that we get to love Him and talk to Him-that is the greatest adventure we could ever be in.

He created us, died for our sin and will come back for us and then once He does, we will be forever with Him-sin will be no more. He will be victorious over all and we get to be a part of that.

It doesn't matter if we are in the congo, in an office building, or little simi valley even, if we can say that we are His children, then we are a part of the greatest adventure we could ever dream of.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

A blessing

This is an amazing sermon that has blessed me so much! It's by Francis Chan, and talks about going through trials.

Just copy and paste the link. :)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Don't tell me

I need a good beginning for this. I mean something that will just really get you hooked. Cause it's something really important, it means a lot to me and I feel really passionate about it! So how am I going to get that across in this little intro? I always hate the beginning part, give me an ending any day-I live for those beautiful zingers that you'll never forgot, but beginnings...heh, I don't even know where to begin it!
You know what I cannot stand?! -When people use the argument that there is no God because there is so much evil in the world. They look at the world and their own lives and think that no God who is good would allow such pain. This is such a crazy "argument" it's not even worthy to be called one.

Think about this, if it hurts you so much to see people suffer through pain, how much more would it hurt the one who created you, who loves you? Which is more painful, being hurt, or watching someone you love being hurt? How about this--watching your own child being hurt? If you're not a parent, there is no way to even understand the pain of this.

Think of someone you love so much you would die for them without question. Now, think of all of those things that make people claim there could be no God. War. Abuse. Sickness. All of it.

Now picture the person you love going through it. I won't even try to do that, thinking of someone I love going through that is too much. There is nothing worse than watching someone you love and care for going through that kind of pain.

This is God. He suffers more than His children when they are hurt. He never wanted anyone to be hurt in any way. He created all things good. However, He allows those things to happen because He gave us free will. He lets us choose to hurt one another. If He didn't then we would all be robots. If He just controlled everything, there would be no reason for Him to die for us, there would have been no sin.

Perhaps this idea is so hard for us to understand is because we know that we are at fault. We are the reason for all the pain. It's our sin that causes it. Saying there is no God because of our wrongs is just a way of trying to hide from the fact that it's our fault.

And then you might say that you didn't cause a war, you're not torturing people or causing some type of horrible pain, how can it be your fault?

But how many times have you seen someone hurting and just walked by? Or saw some homeless person and feel sad but then just walk on by. Hear something sad on the news talk about how wrong it is for a few minutes and then forget about it.

I'm not saying that it is our responsibility to go out and make the entire world better or run to the scene of a disaster. We don't have to empty our wallets for every homeless person we see, adopt a bunch of under privileged children, and dedicate our lives to curing aids and saving the rain forest.

But we are all given a place in this world and chances to make it better. Start with your family, do you even know what is going on in all of their lives? What issues they are dealing with? How about your friends too, are you really caring about them enough to actually be there? Do you know how your neighbors are besides "good, great weather we're having!" do you even ask?
How about the person at the check out stand? Class mates? Random people you get the idea.

Sometimes all it takes is someone caring. Think about that, how much do the people in your life who actually care about you enough to listen and who you know will be there for you, think of how much that matters to you.

That love can make all the difference in someones life, I know it does in mine. Because that is a bit of the love that God has for us, think of that best friend or sibling, or parent who loves you-now multiply that by infinity, and you have God's love.

Some of us are given the chance to share that love with hundreds of people, some with just those around them, but the important thing is that wherever you are in life, you see those opportunities to make a difference and take them.

See the love you have for people, see how much it hurts you to have to see all the pain people go through and realize that if you can care that much, it's from God, that's His love. If it breaks your heart-it tears His open. He sees all of it and is there with everyone hurting. They are His children and He loves them more than we could even imagine.

So to say that there can't be a God because of the pain in the world-is like walking up to a parent whose child is in the hospital dying of cancer and tell them that they are awful parents for allowing this to happen and they are not deserving to even have the child.

So don't tell me that there could be no God, don't tell me that unless you can look at the world and not care about all of the pain that goes on. Don't tell me that unless you're never had your heart broken by watching someone you love hurting. If you care, if you are able to love and wish you could take the pain away somehow, if you want to make a difference, if you wish you could change things, then know that your creator, the one who knew you before you were born loves you. He loves this whole world, He cares about everyone, is there for everyone, it's His heart that is breaking when He sees the pain we put each other through.

"Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" -1 John 5:1-5

Friday, July 9, 2010


What would you do if someone came to you telling you they were from God and that you were going to have His child?

What would you do if this guy told you that somehow the Holy Spirit would impregnate you and you'd just have to carry and give birth to this "God-child" ?

Ok, obviously, I'm talking about Mary, but really let's look at this from a different angle-

Suppose that you were just engaged to someone and back then, it's not like you can just break that off and be all fine-they took it pretty darn seriously and also back then, you can't just go out and get yourself preggers without being married (much less engaged to be) without a first class ticket to get stoned to death. Yeah, this whole "having God's son" business was a lot more intense then we think when first reading the story.

So here's this girl, a young girl too, mind you that gets told that she is going to be having God's Son, she knows that her people will want to probably stone her to death and the guy she's supposed to marry will probably leave her and be one of the first in line for stoning. I mean, did we ever think of how much she could have been looking forward to getting married? She was probably way psyched for that life, settling down, nice house and such, this is her life and then suddenly it's all flipped upside down. And what does she do about it? Panic? Freak out? Run for a therapist? No...not at all.

Immediately after even hearing this news, (she's not even taking time to let it sink in or anything!) this is what she says-

"Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word." -Luke 1:38

She calls herself a servant of the Lord and willingly accepts His will.


She then further goes on to visit her cousin Elizabeth and says this beautiful prayer.

"My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant; For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed. For He who is mighty has done great things for me, And holy is His name. And His mercy is on those who hear Him From generation to generation He has shown strength with His arm; He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts. He has put down the mighty from their thrones, and exalted the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, And the rich He has sent away empty. He has helped His servant Israel, In remembrance of His mercy, As He spoke to our fathers, To Abraham and to his seed forever." -Luke 1:47-55

I wish I could pray like that on a good day. There was a reason Mary was chosen, these prayers clearly seem to show what is was-her incredible faith. To trust God with something that's just insane-I mean she is told she is carrying the child of GOD and she will give birth to Him-think about it, if you had never heard this before it would sound way, way crazy! And lets not forget the punishment she is going to get from her people, think of how much someone is looked down on for getting pregnant out of high school nowadays-times that by like a lot. In case you didn't know-stoning is not a very glamorous way to die.
And then go read that prayer again.

In the story of when Jesus healed a mans son who had a demon the man brought his son to Jesus and asked Him to heal the boy and Jesus said "If you can believe, all thins are possible to him who believes." and then the man said "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" -From Mark 9:17-24
I feel like that guy, the part about help my unbelief- if faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, then I don't have much, but I have enough to ask for more. So God, please do help my unbelief, you say ask and you will receive and seek and you will find-so I ask for faith.

Friday, June 25, 2010


Thank you.

To my best friend in the whole wide world.

Haha I just feel like saying that, I can't believe how much you love me.

Thank you for teaching me and just being there with me in life.

I don't know why you keep trying, it amazes me that you don't give up on me.

So just thank you soo, so much for always being there and keeping me safe and even when I run the other way and get as far from you as I can. you're there ready to take me back once again-it blows me away.

Don't let anything else get in the way, ok? Haa I know it's never your fault-but God, please just fight for me so hard, Lord Jacob wrestled with you to be blessed and Hannah begged you for a baby. I just ask that you keep me close to you, and teach me how to really, really pray.

I just want to be so in love with you here and doing what you want me to do, and then, I get to go home. Ahhh that day. Will be insane.

But you know what? Home is where ever you are, and I know you're always here with me, so I will be content-I mean, how could I not be?! The maker of this amazing universe is the same one who created me, who died for me and loves me more than anyone could ever dream of.

Do you even know how amazing that that's true?! Oh my word. :)

Haha I'm out of words.

The best I've got is-thank you and I love you :)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

He loves you

Words don't come easily.

Thoughts scattered over a broken heart.

Hope is death. Freedom is gone.

Torn. Lost.

Pieces of you. In someone else's hands.

And no one sees your heart. No one looks you in the eyes.

It didn't start this way.

You thought you could hold on to that little girl you once were.

Thought you could go back, thought you could save yourself.

Now you can't look in the mirror.

Now you can't bear to see the torn up pieces of a person you've become.

The faces blur, the voices all become the same.

Eyes, hands, voices.

Not you, but what they can use you for. That is their call.

Making love was never more of a lie.

So far from love you're forgotten what it feels like, you're afraid you don't deserve it anymore.

But it's right there, it screams at you every minute of everyday.

Eyes. Hands. Voice.

That see you for who you are, see you for what you've done. See your heart broken, body torn up, but they see the little girl you once were.

Longing to take your hands in theirs. And to never let go. And a voice that will be silent, that will listen and then just say one thing, I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Your heart may be torn, broken with too many memories of pain.

But he takes the broken pieces in his hands, he take the thoughts and the pain. And gives you his heart, gives you a new beginning. His blood pumping through your veins.

Sometimes it can't be fixed, can't be healed and you have to start over.

You still can.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


I'll tell you why.

I believe in something more, I believe there's a purpose to this world and a beautiful, perfect creator who has given us life.

I believe we have a chance to live life for Him here and then with Him in eterity as well.

I know that this idea seems crazy, and even downright foolish to many. Heck, seeing it written out like that there, it looks a little bit crazy to me.

I mean, come on-believing in God, isn't that just some made-up thing in the "Christian" mind to give ourselves a purpose and meaning?

Well, this is why I believe that it's something more than make believe, this is why I live for that idea.

It's because I believe in miracles. There's just evidence of a creator all around us.

It's like the wind, you might not be able to see it and it's not like christians are given some special sight to see it, it's just I feel it, I can see its effects.

Things aren't always perfect, they aren't so perfect for me, but they are in this sense-that I know where I'm going. I know that this earth isn't it for me. It really doesn't matter what goes down here, it'll be over so, so fast.

Think about it-how fast has life already gone by for you? Someday, you'll be at the end of your days wondering where the time went. You'll be wondering more about what's to come next.

Don't wait that long to think about it, it might be too late.

I'm not worried about you finding the right way, because there is only one way. There's not 5 million truths you have to go through to find the right one-the right one has been waiting for you all along. It's right there, smack in front of your face, even right now as you read this, you're thinking about it.

You're just got to surrender to it, give up your life for it.

But think of what you're gaining.

I tell you, this is amazing. Remember when I mentioned miracles before-yeah. Those are pretty insane.

ANd just knowing that no matter what happens, God has a plan, He has a purpose for me already and nothing can get in His way.

Why, it's just amazing.

Monday, May 3, 2010

What I've learned

It's just downright scary how fast this semester went by.
It's also scary how much life has changed in the past few months for me.
Looking back, I've made a lot of mistakes, had a bunch of fun, gone on some adventures and but through out the good times and the bad, I think the thing I've done most, is learned.
I've learned so much this semester, I wish you could get a degree in "life" haha
The highlights of what I've learned would be these, they are really quite simple.
First off, when something is not working out, be real enough to just admit you made the wrong choice and let it go. If it's not worth fighting for, sometimes the better thing to do is just end it. Then move on, figure out what is worth your time and energy, that's what life is all about, or it should be at least it should be. Find something that you love, that you're excited about.
Something that you wake up in the morning and can't wait to do. Whether it's a class, a job, an art form relationships with people even. No matter what you believe in, if you live for something that inspires and excites you-it will be a good one.
So find that, find the thing, whatever it is that makes you come alive and gives you purpose and once you find it, don't ever let it go.

End of semester

Hannah's Take on the end of the semester.

Do you ever wish you had a do-over button for life?

Like, when you could just take something you said, or some decision back?

Well, if you haven't wished for this at some point, then you simply aren't human and why on earth are you reading this?

There's a lot that I would like to have been able to do-over from this semester.

It's quite ridiculous really, I wish I could just go back and start again so much.

But the sad, cruel reality of it is that we can't. It's like once you've taken a bite out of the food, you can't just go put it back on the shelf-gross.

It's the same way with life, decisions stay. So please, learn from mine.

Don't wait to say no because you think you can handle it and it will get better. Don't fake it, if something is not real and where you really want to be, just let it go.

Think about what you really love and pursue that with all your heart, whatever it is. Make sure that your career path is headed towards something that just makes you excited for life. Once you find that, don't let it go. And don't let anyone influence you to do something else.

But here's another thing, we are always going to make bad decisions in life, it's just inevitable. So learn to do something with them, don't repeat them again for one and for two and three-don't dwell on them, move on.

They say shit happens, but that same shit can be the fertilizer in a beautiful garden.

Did you know that a butterfly's cocoon is actually made up of it's waste? Imagine that, being trapped in so much crap, but if you choose to make something good happen from it, well that's what matters and puts you in control of what you will allow your life to be.

Life is yours, live it up. Don't look back.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

To my Mom

This is written for my Mom.

You can do this.

You want to know why?

Because I know you won't give up.

You might want to, you might get frustrated but giving up isn't something in your vocabulary.

It's been over 19 years for you, and that's quite a feat in of it's own.

We're not perfect. This isn't perfect. But you know what? Perfect is a lame snooty word.

What's perfect, except for God?

There's nothing. All we can do here, is try-and never give up.

So, so far, so good.

Just hang in there. Know that it will get better, know that tomorrow will come. All you have to do is make it through the rest of today.

And whats more, know that I love you, know that you inspire me. Know that with God-all things are possible.

Know that one day-you'll be called home and told well done. No matter what your told, one day you'll be home-and given the love, rest, peace and quiet you deserve, for all of eternity.

This song is for you Mom. I love you. Thank you for everything you do and all of who you are.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Why my Thursdays rock

You ever just have one of those days when everything seems to go right?

When things just work out and you're full of happiness. The sky is blue, the birds are singing, all is good and right in the world?

Well, unless you are either crazy or under the influence of something probably not legal, I'm going to bet no, you haven't.

Days like that are practically mythical in these college times. We've always got something to do, tests, homework, projects, then of course there's the job, keeping up the place you live, keeping food on the table and (hopefully for our sakes) clothes on your back.

Well, I may have not had a perfect day in quite a while, my days have been crazy and full of challenges. But, they have been good days.

And I'll tell you why. It's because I've chosen to see them that way, or rather to see the good in them. It's taken me awhile to be able to find this elusive "good" in the days. But now, I can safely say, I'm starting to see it.

The first step in this is to know where, and more importantly how, to look. You've got to look through the right eyes-- that's number one. And number two, look in the right places, which is essentially everywhere. (Well, within reason and not yucky places, of course). Number three, the right eyes, which are eyes that are looking out, not in. Don't look inside, after all-internal organs aren't so pretty and focusing too much on ourselves ain't such a pretty thing. Once we get hooked on ourselves, it's hard to pull away, and we'll get lost in a crazy inward spiral of selfishness, which leaves us feeling empty, alone, and unhappy. Not a pretty site.

The trick is to look outward, look at that world all around, that big crazy thing, full of people, places to go, things to do. The possibilities are endless. What we've got to do is value the idea of life, of being alive. It's a gift to be alive, but not just to take it all unto ourselves, it's something to share and to give. That's the key right there, we've got to look for the opportunities to do good, not just for good to happen to us.

When you see good days are something to be created and not just to be had once in a blue moon when the stars are perfectly aligned, then good days can be whenever you choose.

I like having them on Thursdays especially, and Fridays too. But it's up to you to decide.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Saying hi

To whomever it may concern,

This is for everyone who has ever asked why?

You wonder why you're here. You wonder if there's a point. You ask if there's something more.

This is for you.

I want you to stop for a second and listen to the sound of your breathing.
Feel your heart beating. Taste the air your taking in. And now think about your thought, how you're able to take in what I'm saying to you and process it in your brain, then think about the internal stream of consensuses going on inside you how as you think of these things you have a battle going on about whether or not these simple everyday occurrences of life could possibly attribute to there being something more to life.

Don't answer that question. Because you are only going to twist and contort your mind into believing something that's not true.

But I'll tell you this, all that non sense about there being many forms of truth to everyone it's a fat load of bs.

There's only one truth or there would be no truth at all.

There's a right, right? Or else there could be no definition of it.

Well here's the definition of right, here's truth.


There is a reason.

A reason you are here.

A reason your heart is kept beating.

A reason you are able to even think about this.

It's because you were created for a purpose, to love.

So stop worrying, stop wondering and just for once in your life-accept it.

You are here on purpose.

Stop looking for the answer and just open your eyes to it-you have to let go and stop blinding your self with your own ideas, your pain, your pride-whatever it is that is keeping you from what is right, from truth.

Just stop, let go, You have to die to truly live, did you know that?

You've got to die to yourself, of yourself and become of the one that made you.

He loves you, He has since before you were born. He knows all your mistakes and everything that has ever hurt you. Please know the truth, it's time you introduced yourself.

Just say hi, that's all.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Thanks :)

I just love you.

I had to say it somewhere. God thank you for today.

Thank you for the flowers on the side of the free way-they make me smile.

Thank you for tap dance class, and my dance class, I need to appreciate that I even get to teach it more.

Thank you for my family God, they are amazing. Please bless them each and bring them closer to you and just make their lives full and amazing.

Thank you for my friends, I am so blessed by them all. :)

Thank you for my dogs and my horse and the cats too.

Thank you for chocolate milk. I love it so much.

Thank you now for sleep, please give me peace-let me just turn all thoughts to you and just sleep on that.

Thank you that if I'm blessed to get another day-that I will get to spend it with you. :)

Thank you.


I love you is not something to mess with.

You shouldn't say it unless you mean it.

It's powerful-when true.

Unfortunately, we're so used to hearing it and saying it when it's not real.

But lets take a look at what it really means.

Before you say it again think about what love is.

Love isn't a feeling. It's not an emotional high, or a strong attraction and it certainly isn't having the hots for someone.

Love is saying you're putting the other person above yourself, it's saying you're going to do whats right with how you treat them.
It's saying you're going to be there for them, that you care about them. Love is a choice, to rise above the selfishness we're born into and care about someone else.

Love isn't something that can ever die, in fact love transcends death. Love is the most powerful thing there is. Love is of God, we can love because He loved us first.

So the next time you say I love you, think about that, love is of God-you had better freaking mean it or you just might have Him to contend with.

Lets get serious here guys, saying I love you and meaning it shouldn't be two different things.

Because love isn't a word, it's a verb. It's an action, a constant action, it's how we live everyday. It's every choice we make, everything we do, is it for love?

So don't say it unless you're willing to back it up everyday, unless you're willing to work for it, to live your life for it and to die for it.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


19 Baby!!! What an awesome way to spend my birthday--just being totally in awe of God's grace. It's just so, so, so amazing!!
His forgiveness, that hope of eternity with Him is the best gift I could ever, ever,ever have!!

I know I'm being a bit over the top but hey--when you're in love like this, there's just nothing holding you back-nothing can get me down-cause He is holding me up. :)

And words cannot express my gratitude and love for Him.

God-you. are. the best.

Thank you for these 19 years-I pray that this year be the best so far, God take my life, use me-whatever you would have me do-I'm totally yours. Anything.

Thank you so much for this chance-thank you so much for opening my eyes, for bring me back to you each and everyday.

This love is just insane-you amaze me like none other!! I've got no words to even explain it, but you know what I'm trying to say
so I'll stop here-and just thank you, I love you so, so, so much :)

-Your kiddo

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Love love love---IS ALL YOU NEED :D

Today is so beautiful.

The excitement for what to come is just amazing.

If I get tomorrow, I know it's going to be amazing.

Because I will be alive. Because I have a chance to be loved and give that love back.

This is beauty.

God has everything in control, all we have to do is to trust Him and He can make the most amazing things happen.

He can even take out stupid mistakes and turn them into something good, when we get off on the wrong path-no matter how far, He's there to bring us back.

He's there with open arms, just shaking His head saying come on, can't you just trust me? Won't you believe that what I've got planned for you is sooo much better than whatever you're grabbing onto right now?

Well finally I realized I was on the wrong path, I was trying and searching for what was right, but I was off.

So finally, I realize this great humbling fact and just surrender everything-ready to give up everything to Him.

And I tell you when you finally do that, it's breaking you of who you thought you were-but the new creation is so worth it.

It's who He wants us to be-it's just amazing.

Then you're on that path with Him-trusting Him and so excited to have let go of all you held dear, of all you thought you wanted, because you see this incredible love the Father has, and see that His plan is going to be just amazing.

I'm just in awe of His love, that He would actually save me from this-from my self and bring me back to Him with open arms.

It is crazy. That's what love is-just insane and you can't even explain it.

The closest thing that can come to getting it-is just that smile. It's beyond words.