Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Psalm 36:5-12

"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men
findb refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.
Continue your love to those who know you,
your righteousness to the upright in heart.
May the foot of the proud not come against me,
nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
See how the evildoers lie fallen—

thrown down, not able to rise!"

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Only you


This is my prayer, this is my heart. I'm fighting against my own selfishness and I hate to say that lately it's been winning, but I want it to stop. Lord, you say that you have sent your Holy Spirit, which is even more helpful that if Jesus was here in the physical form-that is quite a promise. And I believe in it, I'm holding onto it with everything I've got.
Break me down if that's what it takes to tear out this selfishness. Give me that faith to take action on these words and more importantly, on your words. Give me ears to listen and a heart that is turned only to you.

I want to want your will in my life. Please help me to really seek it out. And I mean really, truly-I say help me, because I am so weak against my own fleshly wants.

I just want you to take over my thoughts, God you have my mind. Please, everything I do-that it be for You.

Your will, no matter what it is, You are all that matters.

So I ask that my heart would line up with these words and just want what you designed for me.

I want to seek out your will with every bit of life I have in me. I want to search for you and trust you and just let my life be a testimony to you. God, even when others can't see it-let it still bring glory to you.

You say the angels marvel at us, use my life for your glory! I don't want it for my own, but God take it for yours. I'm willing to give up anything, I'm ready to do anything. So take it. Give me the strength, life and love to follow. I have faith in you that you will make it possible for me to do all that you ask, because I already know that I'm nothing without you. God, I couldn't keep myself alive for 2 seconds alone-let alone live my life according to your plan. It's you that makes everything possible.

It's you that gave me freedom. It's you that gives me hope.

Don't let these just be empty words.

God, I just want you now. I hate fighting against my stupid selfishness that drags me down far from you.

I want to see you, I want to know that I don't have to struggle anymore, that I can just be home.
That the fight is over and now I'm truly home. Forever.

I want it so much, God, everything I am is yours. Everything, I give it all to you.

Whatever you want me to do, to be. Just take me, God, use me however you want and then give me the strength to follow.
I know you will though, and so I'll end with saying thank you. Thank you for this life, thank you for giving me hope. Thank you that I have something so beautiful to live for.

Monday, October 18, 2010


It's been quite a while since I last wrote.
I'm not sure if I should blame business, laziness, or some combination of the two.

Anyways, I'm writing now and that's what matters.

I was in church last night and they played a video talking about how our former Pastor, Francis Chan is moving his family over to asia to serve God. It's pretty incredible, they are just selling their house and totally going out in faith. It sounds so amazing and exciting and while watching him speak you get swept along in their adventure, but then the screen turns back, the lights turn on and we realize we're still in little simi valley and that is not going to change.

So what do we do now?

Go buy plane tickets to asia too?

As human beings, we are filled with a strong long for adventure, it drives us. If we don't have it we become useless, angry, people.

Just take a look at your typical office worker-sitting at a desk typing all day, everyday, 9 to 5 kind of people.

Then look at someone with an exciting bold life filled with purpose-Francis Chan is a great example-he is thriving off of it.

And through this adventure-he is brought closer to God than ever, he has to totally depend on Him and sees how much he really needs God.

Lets be honest, how much do we really need God?

Is your fridge full? Your house warm? Your job going well? You have or are getting an education?

Do you need to rely on Him for basic survival? Probably not. And while this looks like a good thing-after all the american dream is something we greatly prize, it's more of a curse than anything.

It keeps you far from God, because you don't need Him. Instead of relying on Him for everything, you have to force yourself to find time to remember Him.

I heard a story about a team of missionaries who were captured for preaching about God and they had one Bible amoungst them all, so they tore it apart and each person got a section so they could stay in the word. This was the most important thing to them!

Where is your Bible? How often do you read it? If you're anything like me, not nearly enough.

So how do we find this adventure, how do we need God?

It's really quite simple actually. But something we wouldn't see right away usually. Because we are so caught up thinking about ourselves, we forget to see this great creator that we call our own.

We forget who He is.
We look out in our world and only see it for what is gives us, we forget that He created each star in the sky. He made the Heavens and the earth, He gives us breath, He is life itself.

We forget that He is the adventure, we forget that we are a part of His story, that just the fact that we get to love Him and talk to Him-that is the greatest adventure we could ever be in.

He created us, died for our sin and will come back for us and then once He does, we will be forever with Him-sin will be no more. He will be victorious over all and we get to be a part of that.

It doesn't matter if we are in the congo, in an office building, or little simi valley even, if we can say that we are His children, then we are a part of the greatest adventure we could ever dream of.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

A blessing

This is an amazing sermon that has blessed me so much! It's by Francis Chan, and talks about going through trials.

Just copy and paste the link. :)


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Don't tell me

I need a good beginning for this. I mean something that will just really get you hooked. Cause it's something really important, it means a lot to me and I feel really passionate about it! So how am I going to get that across in this little intro? I always hate the beginning part, give me an ending any day-I live for those beautiful zingers that you'll never forgot, but beginnings...heh, I don't even know where to begin it!
You know what I cannot stand?! -When people use the argument that there is no God because there is so much evil in the world. They look at the world and their own lives and think that no God who is good would allow such pain. This is such a crazy "argument" it's not even worthy to be called one.

Think about this, if it hurts you so much to see people suffer through pain, how much more would it hurt the one who created you, who loves you? Which is more painful, being hurt, or watching someone you love being hurt? How about this--watching your own child being hurt? If you're not a parent, there is no way to even understand the pain of this.

Think of someone you love so much you would die for them without question. Now, think of all of those things that make people claim there could be no God. War. Abuse. Sickness. All of it.

Now picture the person you love going through it. I won't even try to do that, thinking of someone I love going through that is too much. There is nothing worse than watching someone you love and care for going through that kind of pain.

This is God. He suffers more than His children when they are hurt. He never wanted anyone to be hurt in any way. He created all things good. However, He allows those things to happen because He gave us free will. He lets us choose to hurt one another. If He didn't then we would all be robots. If He just controlled everything, there would be no reason for Him to die for us, there would have been no sin.

Perhaps this idea is so hard for us to understand is because we know that we are at fault. We are the reason for all the pain. It's our sin that causes it. Saying there is no God because of our wrongs is just a way of trying to hide from the fact that it's our fault.

And then you might say that you didn't cause a war, you're not torturing people or causing some type of horrible pain, how can it be your fault?

But how many times have you seen someone hurting and just walked by? Or saw some homeless person and feel sad but then just walk on by. Hear something sad on the news talk about how wrong it is for a few minutes and then forget about it.

I'm not saying that it is our responsibility to go out and make the entire world better or run to the scene of a disaster. We don't have to empty our wallets for every homeless person we see, adopt a bunch of under privileged children, and dedicate our lives to curing aids and saving the rain forest.

But we are all given a place in this world and chances to make it better. Start with your family, do you even know what is going on in all of their lives? What issues they are dealing with? How about your friends too, are you really caring about them enough to actually be there? Do you know how your neighbors are besides "good, great weather we're having!" do you even ask?
How about the person at the check out stand? Class mates? Random people you meet...you get the idea.

Sometimes all it takes is someone caring. Think about that, how much do the people in your life who actually care about you enough to listen and who you know will be there for you, think of how much that matters to you.

That love can make all the difference in someones life, I know it does in mine. Because that is a bit of the love that God has for us, think of that best friend or sibling, or parent who loves you-now multiply that by infinity, and you have God's love.

Some of us are given the chance to share that love with hundreds of people, some with just those around them, but the important thing is that wherever you are in life, you see those opportunities to make a difference and take them.

See the love you have for people, see how much it hurts you to have to see all the pain people go through and realize that if you can care that much, it's from God, that's His love. If it breaks your heart-it tears His open. He sees all of it and is there with everyone hurting. They are His children and He loves them more than we could even imagine.

So to say that there can't be a God because of the pain in the world-is like walking up to a parent whose child is in the hospital dying of cancer and tell them that they are awful parents for allowing this to happen and they are not deserving to even have the child.

So don't tell me that there could be no God, don't tell me that unless you can look at the world and not care about all of the pain that goes on. Don't tell me that unless you're never had your heart broken by watching someone you love hurting. If you care, if you are able to love and wish you could take the pain away somehow, if you want to make a difference, if you wish you could change things, then know that your creator, the one who knew you before you were born loves you. He loves this whole world, He cares about everyone, is there for everyone, it's His heart that is breaking when He sees the pain we put each other through.

"Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" -1 John 5:1-5

Friday, July 9, 2010


What would you do if someone came to you telling you they were from God and that you were going to have His child?

What would you do if this guy told you that somehow the Holy Spirit would impregnate you and you'd just have to carry and give birth to this "God-child" ?

Ok, obviously, I'm talking about Mary, but really let's look at this from a different angle-

Suppose that you were just engaged to someone and back then, it's not like you can just break that off and be all fine-they took it pretty darn seriously and also back then, you can't just go out and get yourself preggers without being married (much less engaged to be) without a first class ticket to get stoned to death. Yeah, this whole "having God's son" business was a lot more intense then we think when first reading the story.

So here's this girl, a young girl too, mind you that gets told that she is going to be having God's Son, she knows that her people will want to probably stone her to death and the guy she's supposed to marry will probably leave her and be one of the first in line for stoning. I mean, did we ever think of how much she could have been looking forward to getting married? She was probably way psyched for that life, settling down, nice house and such, this is her life and then suddenly it's all flipped upside down. And what does she do about it? Panic? Freak out? Run for a therapist? No...not at all.

Immediately after even hearing this news, (she's not even taking time to let it sink in or anything!) this is what she says-

"Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word." -Luke 1:38

She calls herself a servant of the Lord and willingly accepts His will.


She then further goes on to visit her cousin Elizabeth and says this beautiful prayer.

"My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant; For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed. For He who is mighty has done great things for me, And holy is His name. And His mercy is on those who hear Him From generation to generation He has shown strength with His arm; He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts. He has put down the mighty from their thrones, and exalted the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, And the rich He has sent away empty. He has helped His servant Israel, In remembrance of His mercy, As He spoke to our fathers, To Abraham and to his seed forever." -Luke 1:47-55

I wish I could pray like that on a good day. There was a reason Mary was chosen, these prayers clearly seem to show what is was-her incredible faith. To trust God with something that's just insane-I mean she is told she is carrying the child of GOD and she will give birth to Him-think about it, if you had never heard this before it would sound way, way crazy! And lets not forget the punishment she is going to get from her people, think of how much someone is looked down on for getting pregnant out of high school nowadays-times that by like a lot. In case you didn't know-stoning is not a very glamorous way to die.
And then go read that prayer again.

In the story of when Jesus healed a mans son who had a demon the man brought his son to Jesus and asked Him to heal the boy and Jesus said "If you can believe, all thins are possible to him who believes." and then the man said "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" -From Mark 9:17-24
I feel like that guy, the part about help my unbelief- if faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, then I don't have much, but I have enough to ask for more. So God, please do help my unbelief, you say ask and you will receive and seek and you will find-so I ask for faith.

Friday, June 25, 2010


Thank you.

To my best friend in the whole wide world.

Haha I just feel like saying that, I can't believe how much you love me.

Thank you for teaching me and just being there with me in life.

I don't know why you keep trying, it amazes me that you don't give up on me.

So just thank you soo, so much for always being there and keeping me safe and even when I run the other way and get as far from you as I can. you're there ready to take me back once again-it blows me away.

Don't let anything else get in the way, ok? Haa I know it's never your fault-but God, please just fight for me so hard, Lord Jacob wrestled with you to be blessed and Hannah begged you for a baby. I just ask that you keep me close to you, and teach me how to really, really pray.

I just want to be so in love with you here and doing what you want me to do, and then, I get to go home. Ahhh that day. Will be insane.

But you know what? Home is where ever you are, and I know you're always here with me, so I will be content-I mean, how could I not be?! The maker of this amazing universe is the same one who created me, who died for me and loves me more than anyone could ever dream of.

Do you even know how amazing that that's true?! Oh my word. :)

Haha I'm out of words.

The best I've got is-thank you and I love you :)