Saturday, October 30, 2010

Only you


This is my prayer, this is my heart. I'm fighting against my own selfishness and I hate to say that lately it's been winning, but I want it to stop. Lord, you say that you have sent your Holy Spirit, which is even more helpful that if Jesus was here in the physical form-that is quite a promise. And I believe in it, I'm holding onto it with everything I've got.
Break me down if that's what it takes to tear out this selfishness. Give me that faith to take action on these words and more importantly, on your words. Give me ears to listen and a heart that is turned only to you.

I want to want your will in my life. Please help me to really seek it out. And I mean really, truly-I say help me, because I am so weak against my own fleshly wants.

I just want you to take over my thoughts, God you have my mind. Please, everything I do-that it be for You.

Your will, no matter what it is, You are all that matters.

So I ask that my heart would line up with these words and just want what you designed for me.

I want to seek out your will with every bit of life I have in me. I want to search for you and trust you and just let my life be a testimony to you. God, even when others can't see it-let it still bring glory to you.

You say the angels marvel at us, use my life for your glory! I don't want it for my own, but God take it for yours. I'm willing to give up anything, I'm ready to do anything. So take it. Give me the strength, life and love to follow. I have faith in you that you will make it possible for me to do all that you ask, because I already know that I'm nothing without you. God, I couldn't keep myself alive for 2 seconds alone-let alone live my life according to your plan. It's you that makes everything possible.

It's you that gave me freedom. It's you that gives me hope.

Don't let these just be empty words.

God, I just want you now. I hate fighting against my stupid selfishness that drags me down far from you.

I want to see you, I want to know that I don't have to struggle anymore, that I can just be home.
That the fight is over and now I'm truly home. Forever.

I want it so much, God, everything I am is yours. Everything, I give it all to you.

Whatever you want me to do, to be. Just take me, God, use me however you want and then give me the strength to follow.
I know you will though, and so I'll end with saying thank you. Thank you for this life, thank you for giving me hope. Thank you that I have something so beautiful to live for.

Monday, October 18, 2010


It's been quite a while since I last wrote.
I'm not sure if I should blame business, laziness, or some combination of the two.

Anyways, I'm writing now and that's what matters.

I was in church last night and they played a video talking about how our former Pastor, Francis Chan is moving his family over to asia to serve God. It's pretty incredible, they are just selling their house and totally going out in faith. It sounds so amazing and exciting and while watching him speak you get swept along in their adventure, but then the screen turns back, the lights turn on and we realize we're still in little simi valley and that is not going to change.

So what do we do now?

Go buy plane tickets to asia too?

As human beings, we are filled with a strong long for adventure, it drives us. If we don't have it we become useless, angry, people.

Just take a look at your typical office worker-sitting at a desk typing all day, everyday, 9 to 5 kind of people.

Then look at someone with an exciting bold life filled with purpose-Francis Chan is a great example-he is thriving off of it.

And through this adventure-he is brought closer to God than ever, he has to totally depend on Him and sees how much he really needs God.

Lets be honest, how much do we really need God?

Is your fridge full? Your house warm? Your job going well? You have or are getting an education?

Do you need to rely on Him for basic survival? Probably not. And while this looks like a good thing-after all the american dream is something we greatly prize, it's more of a curse than anything.

It keeps you far from God, because you don't need Him. Instead of relying on Him for everything, you have to force yourself to find time to remember Him.

I heard a story about a team of missionaries who were captured for preaching about God and they had one Bible amoungst them all, so they tore it apart and each person got a section so they could stay in the word. This was the most important thing to them!

Where is your Bible? How often do you read it? If you're anything like me, not nearly enough.

So how do we find this adventure, how do we need God?

It's really quite simple actually. But something we wouldn't see right away usually. Because we are so caught up thinking about ourselves, we forget to see this great creator that we call our own.

We forget who He is.
We look out in our world and only see it for what is gives us, we forget that He created each star in the sky. He made the Heavens and the earth, He gives us breath, He is life itself.

We forget that He is the adventure, we forget that we are a part of His story, that just the fact that we get to love Him and talk to Him-that is the greatest adventure we could ever be in.

He created us, died for our sin and will come back for us and then once He does, we will be forever with Him-sin will be no more. He will be victorious over all and we get to be a part of that.

It doesn't matter if we are in the congo, in an office building, or little simi valley even, if we can say that we are His children, then we are a part of the greatest adventure we could ever dream of.